Field Guide To Critical Birds, Entry #31: The Existential Vulture Written on August 8, 2011, by Zack.
How to ID: Existentialist Vultures Rarely seen without a volume of Sartre Sport black, crooked feathers and matching beret Prefer perching in Parisian cafes Nihilistically gnaw on carrion-stuffed croissants until nauseously bloated with gristle and angst Their gaze: deicidal, and shrouded in smoke Their call: a cantankerous death rattle croak: