[NOTE: The text to follow has been translated from the original Japanese via Babelfish]

Therefore, some time ago that my friend Mathew’s Was; The birthday of him. He me and in order to connect him and the large group of that friend at this really splendid restaurant, invited my wife. And as for me evening’s You thought that the card we would like to draw him before, it had; Even unfortunately the meal of him, but my hand could carpal tunnel syndrome and to disabled. With that, advances several months, my hand still doesn’ Hurting, still Mathew; There is sketch of birthday in still none. Therefore, pain it is not absurd for the or more of this to wait, Mathew and here’s Happiness, which lately desires birthday largely!

[End translation]

CONTEST WINNER!

Two weeks ago I asked you to come up with the puuuuuuuurrfect, er, doggone best name for the puppy whose drawing I’d posted. At the time, I failed to state how long it would take me to decide the winning answer. Well, let me tell you now: the contest will be concluded as soon as I finish typing this sentence I am typing right now on my computer keyboard DING! TIME’S UP! The correct answer, was Snickers! Snickers the puppy. No one said Snickers? C’mon, get with the program people, he’s obviously a Snickers!

Well, since nobody said Snickers, I’ll give THE GRAND PRIZE, an autographed copy of the terrible “Hansel and Gretel” comic I drew, to the runner-up. And the winner is… it’s a tie!

Chernobyl & Pope Pius XIII, submitted by Katherine and James Moes (respectively)! On odd-numbered days, the puppy is Chernobyl, on even-numbered days, Pope Pius XIII. On even-numbered days, you may also refer to him by his nickname, Little Popey Poopers. Since there was only one grand prize, I’m afraid Katherine and James that you’ll have to share the spoils. Luckily enough, you two also share an apartment, so I don’t see this as an issue.

Thank you VERY VERY MUCH for all your entries, they were all great! I’m very lucky to have as creative a reading public as I do!

OH, and I should point out, the above image was HEAVILY influenced by the work of 64 Colors. I recommend visiting their site and picking up a print, they’re AWESOME.

Here’s an idea: let’s pretend I just spent the last few hours nursing a liter of pumpkin ale while watching Robocop with my friend Mathew, and am too tired to think of anything to clever to say, so… I dunno, leave a name for the puppy in the comments section, best name gets an autographed copy of that terrible comic I did a few months ago! Hooray!

Here he is, folks, the winner of the first Contestaroo: Chris “Lopez” Lopez, host of the podcast Classic Rock Liberation and all-around good buddy. We brainstormed a bit after he won and decided to make his illustration broadcast-related so he can use it on his site. And what could be more broadcasty than an LP sticker of Lopez DJing into an old-timey mic? NOTHING, except maybe if the podcast was named Edward R. Murrow Liberation or something.

Anywho, if you’re into classic rock at all, I’d recommend taking a listen his podcasts. They’re well produced and feature a lot of bands you’d probably never heard of, along with historical contextualizing of bands we’re all familiar with. Good stuff!

As you can see, there is a giant bird on a certain type of automobile chasing an elephant. The bird, as the clue from last week eluded to (hope you took notes), was a roc, a creature made famous in such literature as 1,001 Nights and the journals of Marco Polo. The elephant was added for scale, since the roc is known to be large enough to carry the pachyderm in its massive talons. The type of automobile is actually a go-kart, made large enough to fit a roc. And if a kart is made specifically for a roc, it is a “roc kart.” And if it is drawn by me, Zack Rock, that “roc kart” is a piece of “Rock art.” Hence, I will accept as a title for this image either:

Rock Art: Roc Kart

Or

Roc Kart = Rock Art

Or, heck, even

Roc Kart? Rock Art

Anything like that. Now, check your neighbor’s answer to see if they got it right. Please pass the puns to the front. Let’s see here… hmmmm… I see… oh my, so it seems that not one of you got the correct answer. And since this was the final, I suppose I’ll have to recommend most of you take Remedial Punnery next semester.

However, since I grade on the curve, we need at least one A+ student, and based on my own subjective sense of humor the funniest pun of the bunch was submitted by class president and all-star quarterback Chris Lopez for his submission: Republicans Run, Ill-eagle Race! Congratulations, Lopez! Looks like I’ll be drawing your portrait for an upcoming Monday Sketcharoo! Hand in some photographs of yourself and I’ll see what I can do.

Oops, that’s the bell. Thank you all for participating! All the submissions were great, I wish I had prizes for runner-ups! We’ll have to do this again soon!

So send in your final hour submissions, keep the clue in mind, and best of luck to ye!

NOTE: Monday Sketcharoo will return tomorrow with a brand new sketch. That’s right! It’ll be Monday on a Tuesday, just like the old fortune-telling crone predicted!

She’ll get you into a house, even though you’ve got terrible credit? That’s just evil.

CONTEST UPDATE: In other news, there’s only one week left to get in your submission for the Contestaroo! And while I am absolutely loving all the entries I’ve got so far, I heard through the grapevine that you guys might like to have a clue to guide you in your punnery. And while I’m a bit hesitant to clip the wings of your creativity, I shall relent. So here it is, your very own rhyming clue:

While taking jabs at politics and things like that is fun,

it puts you on the wrong racetrack for finding the right pun.

You’d be advised to check the size of the auto-driving fowl,

compared against the elephant that feathered hunter prowls.

And get your mind off GOPs and Dems, try instead Sisyphus,

for that’s no eagle, but an ancient bird from well known myths.

BUT I’VE ALREADY SAID TOO MUCH! Hopes this helps! Remember, if no one gets the real title, the best pun still wins, so if the above clue was gibberish to you, don’t be afraid to toss it out and come up with something else entirely.

And happy punning!

In the meantime, I so far only have a handful of submissions to my Monday Sketcharoo contest, and I know I’ve got more punster friends then that. Remember, the rules have changed! Now either a correct answer or a REALLY CLEVER pun will take the grand prize: your handsome/beautiful/monstrous portrait drawn with my very own, carpal tunnel-crippled hands (a $100 value, yours FREE!). The contest ends October 20th, or whenever I get the correct answer. So, act now! NOW! ACT!

UPDATE: So, my sources tell me my contest may be a little too difficult (especially in light for the meager prize). HENCE, the rules have changed! If you get me the correct pun before anyone else, you will still be deemed the winner. However, if, in TWO WEEKS, nobody has the right answer, I will select the funniest pun and that person will win the prize! Sound good?

THEN MAKE WITH THE PUNNERY!

ORIGINAL POST: Hello everyone! It’s Monday, meaning it’s time for another Monday Sketcharoo piece to be posted for your enjoyment. HOWEVER, today’s Sketcharoo is going to be a little different. Below you will find a sketch I did a while back, gussied up a bit, but with something important missing from it. That something is its title. The original title for this drawing was a pun comprised of four words and one piece of punctuation. If you can figure out the words and punctuation in their correct succession and post them in the comments section below, I will personally draw you in an upcoming Monday Sketcharoo!* I personally will. This will not be one of those jobs I pass off to my cat. No, you’ll get the winner’s treatment.

So get punning!

**************I’m sure it doesn’t have to be said, but I’ll say it regardless: if you already have seen the drawing in my sketchbook and know full well the title of the piece, you are not allowed to comment! Sorry! I promise I’ll do another one in the near future, though!