They Can’t Be Licked! Or At Least They REALLY Shouldn’t Be. Written on October 13, 2010, by Zack.

Thousands of flavors, yes. But what the box doesn’t tell you is they’re all barn-related flavors: Hay Bale Blast, Peppermint Cow Patty, Clustercluck Chicken Crunch, Wacky Wool Weevil, Farmer Joe’s Super-Sour Tears of Regret, Rocky Mountain Oyster, Slaughterhouse Lime – and hundreds more. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN COWS RUN CANDY COMPANIES, PEOPLE. —————- Remember, [...]

Bessy’s great in the kitchen, and she simply refuses to be tipped! Written on October 5, 2010, by Zack.

You’re an affluent, hard-working executive, and though you’d love to enjoy a good book and be served quality coffee by your cow butler, you can never find the time. That’s why there’s Koffee Kandy. All the rich, full-bodied flavor of Colombian coffee beans, freshly ground beneath the hooves of a cow servant with a splash [...]

Don’t be hatin’ Written on October 1, 2010, by Zack.

You know what concepts, when combined, make for a fun-sounding candy? Anger and fire! I mean, the consumer’s love of rage and destruction is the secret to all sorts of candy successes: Stabbursts, Good’n Pummel, York Resentmint Patties, Whatchamaupyours, Hersey’s Disses, Sugar Rabies, Dum-Dums. I could go on. Nobody eats M & Empathy’s. Nobody. —————- [...]