And Canadian Geese aren’t too friendly, either Written on February 24, 2010, by Zack.
Bald Eagles drive Hummers and take up two parking spots. They don’t wash when they get out of the bathroom stall, they just pat your shoulder and leave. A Bald Eagle was promoted ahead of you, but all it ever does is check facebook and make personal phone calls. It was a Bald Eagle that aimed for your braces during dodge ball, and hit. You’ve been getting a lot of spam lately, that’s because a Bald Eagle uses your address whenever he registers at dirty eagle sites. Bird Flu? More like a-Bald-Eagle-hocked-a-loogie-into-your-coffee-when-you-weren’t-looking flu.
Bald Eagles nickname themselves “Duke.” Bald Eagles supported Leno. Bald Eagles tip 10%. Bald Eagles listen to Nickelback really loudly and once got “How You Remind Me” stuck in your head for three weeks (Nickelback themselves: all Bald Eagles). Bald Eagles are the reason Spike TV is a real channel.
Bald Eagles are jerks.
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Remember, you can always find me on Twitter and Etsy!
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Is everything ok Zack?
THAT’S who those guys are?
Those dudes suck!
Hey, I like the Spike channel.
Mark – Yeah, I just recently witnessed a Bald Eagle trying to snatch a duck from the slough near my office. It kept circling around, waiting for the panicked duck to resurface before striking again, all the while getting harassed by a group of crows. Of all the birds I’ve seen in my time birdwatching, Bald Eagles are the least likely to get along with their feathered kin.
Brian – I know!
Dan – Hmmm… and your hair has been thinning a bit. Tell me Dan, have you developed talons lately?
I still want to see your Turkey to replace Eagle as American bird manifesto/zine.
I love this.
James – As do I, as do I.
Sarah – Thanks!
This stuff is sooooooo good. (Bald eagles are thieves too, known for waiting around to snatch some other sucker raptor’s hard earned lunch!)
“Nickelback themselves: all Bald Eagles”
- all except the singer. he’s definitely a donkey.
keep up the good work zack!
:D Love it.
VKBMKL – Thanks for the ornithological tidbit! What a buncha bald bullies!
Lopez – Technically he’s half donkey, half Bald Eagle. It’s sorta like a hippogriff, but with a perm.
Veronica – Danke!
I like the illustration… not sure about the bald eagel part :)